VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts.

I just love it.

VO: Behind the wheel of a classic car.

(HORN TOOTS) LOUISE: It's fast.

CHARLES: It's a race.

VO: And a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

PAUL: This could be tricky.

MARGIE: £38!

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

VO: But it's no mean feat.

ROO: High five!

There'll be worthy winners... CHRISTINA: Mind-blowing.

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Could have been worse.

Will it be the high road to glory...

Car!

..or the slow road to disaster?

CHRISTINA: Aaagh!

TIM: Oh my!

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah, baby!

VO: Iechyd da, everyone, and especially our two very wonderful experts.

PAUL (PL): Do you know what?

Proper weather, daffodils and we're in Wales.

CATHERINE (CS): St David's country!

This is lovely!

VO: He's right, but then auctioneer Paul Laidlaw generally is.

Good people, the Welsh.

VO: Likewise, his companion and co-conspirator on the antiques highway, fellow auctioneer Catherine Southon.

Have you and I put on weight?

Because this has got smaller.

VO: Does look snug.

Their allegedly-shrinking sportster is a shiny red Morgan called Mog.

Get it?

And it's pointed towards Wrexham.

Over to Paul.

I've got one fact about Wrexham and then I'm spent.

Oh, go on then.

Water, subterranean water.

Good for brewing.

Oh, beer!

Lager.

First brewed in Britain in Wrexham.

I didn't know that.

VO: Well, I think we all feel a teensy weensy bit cleverer now, don't we?

Time for a history lesson, then.

What's it worth?

VO: Last time, Catherine's scrapheap challenge was quite the story.

CS: 20?

TRADER: Go on, then.

VO: Although Paul's super-lucrative rummaging put him top of the pile.

You're green with jealousy, are you not?

Why do I not walk into antique shops and find the "everything that's unlabeled for £5" box?

VO: Quite!

Paul's even got a verb for it - to "ratch"!

Tell you what, I'm going for the ratchet mode today.

Is it ratchet?

Retching?

Retching - bleugh.

I hope it's not that bad.

(HE CHUCKLES) PL: Ratching!

CS: Ratching, ratching.

You talk your own language, boy, really.

Several languages.

Don't forget the Welsh.

VO: Oh, we won't.

Don't you worry.

Paul started out with £200 and has thus far "ratched" that up to £336.72.

While Catherine, who began with the same sum, now has £223.92.

I don't understand why I can make money on everything and still be pretty much back where I started.

What's going on?

VO: Yeah, it's very queer, isn't it?

Well, first they sallied forth from Budby in Nottinghamshire with the avowed intent to thoroughly do the Midlands.

And right now they're exploring a nice bit of Wales, before moseying back eastwards.

So that when their work is done, they'll eventually gravitate to Middle Littleton and journey's end.

On this leg they'll end up at an auction in the Black Country at Penkridge.

But we begin out west in Wrexham.

VO: This is St Giles, one of the seven wonders of Wales.

And this is the Racecourse Ground.

The world's oldest working international football stadium.

And nestling beside another architectural gem... CS: What a fantastic place!

VO: ..is the Bryn Y Grog Hall Antiques Centre.

Over 40 units, so those two will have plenty of elbow room - which they'll need.

Oh, my goodness!

I didn't know it went down there as well.

VO: Be sure to scatter breadcrumbs.

Molly!

Hello, Molly.

Ps, ps, ps, ps.

Hello.

VO: Ah, puss, puss, puss, puss.

She should know her way about.

CS: Go and find me some antiques.

VO: Meanwhile, Paul's fallen for something that's already been sold.

What a lovely little Welsh or English oak joint stool.

Maybe late 17th century - certainly early 18th century.

So that is 300 years old and maybe a wee bit older.

This rattled about, probably on stone flagged floors.

It was a good thing but not something the householders were precious about.

This has survived really well.

It's a lovely piece of furniture and do you know what?

There won't be a right angle in it.

Do you think I like this?

(HE CHUCKLES) I adore it.

VO: Well, that's one that's got away, I'm afraid.

How's Catherine?

What?

"French 19th-century grape picker's basket stand".

Oh, I suppose if they had the basket when they were going round... You used to have them on their back, going round, picking your grapes for the wine, take them off and then put them on there.

I sort of like that.

I like that cos it's weird and different.

They're asking £36 for that which I don't think is expensive.

However... who wants it?

VO: That's the nub, isn't it?

Can you actually sit on it?

If I sit on this, is it going to break?

VO: It's not going to be comfy.

It's actually quite steady.

Where's Dana?

CS: Dana?

DANA: Yes?

CS: Dana!

DANA: Yes!

Come hither.

I found this.

Right...

Yes.

(SHE CHUCKLES) What is it, darling?

Apparently, it's a grape basket rest.

Of course it is.

Mm-hm.

Isn't that interesting?

It is.

Quirky things tend to sell quite well.

Yes.

The other thing was a couple of planters down there.

They always sell well.

They just caught my eye while I'm talking to you there.

How much is on those?

44 for the pair.

That doesn't seem bad either, does it?

DANA: No.

VO: Well, they look the part.

I mean, you've got some serious lichen here.

DANA: Yeah.

CS: If you could do a discount on those and that...

There's 44 on that one and 36. for the stand.

CS: Mm-hm.

DANA: When there's two pieces then obviously you can get a little bit... You've got more chance.

Lovely.

OK?

I'll go and do that for you.

Lovely.

Thank you.

VO: This is turning into quite a fruitful corner.

We've got one slightly more traditional item, a pair of planters, early 20th century I would say, and they've got wear - they're weathered, which is good.

And then one completely way-out, wacky thing.

There's something about it.

VO: Ah, Dana's back!

Good news.

How does 60 grab you?

35 and 25?

That doesn't seem bad, does it?

It's not bad at all, actually.

VO: She would say that, wouldn't she?

There is your £60.

Super.

Excellent.

I like that.

CS: Thank you very much indeed.

DANA: Thank you.

VO: Catherine's definitely branching out on this trip.

Now what about Paul?

Still pining for that joint stool?

No chance.

PL: Right then, folks.

You know what a banker is, don't you?

It's that safe bet that we're all looking for, you know?

Well, not only have I found a banker - I've found a bank!

There's the slot for your old copper pennies and ha'pennies.

And that gives you an inclination of the date of the thing because this is surely late Victorian or maybe early 20th century.

And it is arguably naively but certainly charmingly modeled as the facade of the town bank.

Let me turn it round... And look at the honesty and the integrity of that piece.

I'll tell you what else I like - your money box, you need a key, surely.

No, you don't - you need a dinner knife, don't you?

A bit of jiggery pokery and we can extract the pocket money prematurely, yeah?

Well, this one has a door, but the door got lost at some point, and I adore the expedient repair.

Because that little tin plate hatch or cover or door there is made out of a hot drink tin - "Delicious Ovaltine", no less.

I prattle on as I am wont to do.

Cut to the chase, Laidlaw.

Have a look at that - £25.

It's got to be worth that, all day long.

VO: Time to have a word with proprietor Brian.

A wee Victorian money box.

It's got £25 on it.

Yeah.

What can that be, here and now?

£18.

PL: Thank you sir.

DEALER: Thank you.

VO: Something tells me that money box could very well fly.

DEALER: Thank you, Paul.

PL: It's been a pleasure.

VO: But while Paul zooms off to his next shop, Catherine's traveled back to the canal age, and an astonishing feat of civil engineering.

Wow!

This aqueduct is an amazing feature.

Pontcysyllte, that's where I am, Pontcysyllte - pretty tricky to say.

Let's see if it's just as hard to climb up.

VO: She's taken our route south towards the village of Trevor to cross the Pontcysyllte aqueduct in the company of visitor center manager Lynda Slater.

Hello.

LYNDA (LS): Hello, Catherine.

Come on board.

Oh, this is fantastic!

VO: Although the Vale of Llangollen today, is a beautiful, fairly sleepy place, back in the late 18th century, it was the center of the Industrial Revolution.

LS: We had coal, iron, chemical works, limekilns are on this side here.

All this would have looked completely different.

VO: A canal was proposed to carry the area's output north across the border to the Mersey.

And the engineer responsible was the then-unknown Thomas Telford.

He was a principal surveyor for Shropshire at the time.

So it was one of his first-ever jobs that he did and it sort of made him world famous, really.

VO: Telford's biggest challenge was to take the new canal across the River Dee.

And his solution, this huge aqueduct, almost 40 meters tall, was opened in 1805.

'Mazing.

In the early 19th century, then, that must have been quite an ambitious project?

It was a massive project.

It took 10 years to build the aqueduct.

This little structure here.

There's not a lot to that.

Is that the widest?

This is why it's so amazing, to be honest.

On lots of other structures they put stone, whereas this one isn't.

If it's stood up 200 years, we must be alright.

Because looking down there, that's scary.

So it's known as the stream in the sky.

Yeah!

It is incredible to look out and see these views here.

VO: Telford, who allegedly oversaw the building of his 19-arched, 300-meter-high structure from this small house on the hill, would go on to build other masterpieces like the Menai Straits suspension bridge.

But Pontcysyllte, the tallest, longest and oldest navigable aqueduct in Britain, remains his boldest.

Lynda, that's been brilliant, thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm gonna rename this now the Antique Canal Trip.

LS: Fantastic.

CS: Wonderful.

LS: See you again soon, hopefully.

You will definitely.

Wonderful, thank you.

VO: Catherine might be in a very elevated position right now... ..but it's her fellow road tripper who's out in front.

As well he knows.

I am a hundred pound or so north of Catherine.

Which gives me I daresay a wee bit of security, but not enough to cause me to take my foot off the gas or my eye off the ball.

And I've got a bigger budget, which can be useful.

Make no bones about it.

VO: Paul and his little red roadster have now crossed the border back into England and the Shropshire town of Oswestry, justly famous for its many fine pubs per head of population.

Although our ambitious expert will, as usual, have his nose to the grindstone at the Old Yard.

Is it Elaine?

Hi.

Hi Paul.

How are you?

PL: Good to see you.

ELAINE: You too.

VO: This should be interesting.

Not exactly Paul's natural habitat.

PL: Wow!

(HE CHUCKLES) As in "wow"... er, but, also "oh".

VO: We know what you mean, Paul.

Bags of industrial chic and upcycling.

This could be tricky.

I'll tell you what it is going to be, though.

It's going to be interesting.

VO: As always.

He's still got over £300 left, remember.

I know quite a bit about stuff.

And occasionally I stumble across something that perplexes me.

This one I think I may have cracked.

It's an odd looking thing, is it scientific apparatus?

Was there electricity going through this?

I've got the theory.

I think this is from a Jacquard loom.

I think this is part of an early programmable mechanical, not quite computer, but system.

Monsieur Jacquard, in the late 18th century, developed a means of programming a loom to weave given patterns.

And the system he used employed cards with holes punched in them and they ran over rollers like this.

But what on Earth does one do with that?

I've no idea.

Interesting it may be, but is it valuable?

I suspect not.

And that's why it's still sitting there.

VO: So the search goes on.

Tobacco jar?

Possibility.

What's it made out of?

Lignum vitae.

Denser than water - that's wood that will sink.

Very strong, turns very well.

And a very lovely, variegated figure.

What is it?

Well, it's not a tobacco jar.

This is a string box.

On your shop counter or workshop you've got a big ball of probably hemp string.

Cord out here, I need a length, out we go, one yard, two yard.

And then pull it over the blade.

There you go, no need for scissors.

It's convenient, it's effective, it works.

Why do I like it?

That is 19th century, that is 150 years old, give or take.

This really does tick the treen collector's box.

And the condition is there.

Price tag - oh, you'll like this... £22.

Not bad, but there's one more thing I want to show you about this.

Funny enough, you may be surprised to hear, I do not carry beeswax at all times.

Maybe I should.

But watch this.

This top is dusty, it's actually lightly watermarked.

But look at this.

Oh-ho-ho-ho.

That's worth buying, isn't it?

So that's what I'm gonna do.

VO: I think Paul's work here may almost be done.

I found that.

A little string holder.

Unmolested, untouched, inexpensive.

ELAINE: Oh, very inexpensive.

PL: Ain't it?

Squeeze a wee bit off it for me?

Goodwill?

ELAINE: A wee bit?

PL: Yeah.

ELAINE: 20.

PL: It's a deal.

VO: He's in no hurry to splash out.

PL: That's for you.

ELAINE: That's great.

PL: All the best to you.

ELAINE: Lovely, all the best.

VO: Now, time to catch up with his chum.

How was that then, Catherine?

Good?

Loving Wales!

And now England, here we come!

VO: And nor nos, which is Welsh... for nighty-night.

Next day, our trippers are definitely in the right part of Shropshire.

Ah, what a glorious morning!

Take in the air, the company.

The bonnet stretching to the horizon.

This is alright, isn't it?

(THUD) CS: Oh!

Seems we've left something behind.

Have we?

Can you hear that flapping noise?

CS: Oh my... PL: That's our numberplate.

CS: Is it?

PL: Yeah.

Ha!

There's something dragging!

Oh, shush!

Get out.

Go and have a look.

Oh, Catherine!

VO: So while Paul goes to work... Crikey!

..let's have a look at what he bought yesterday.

Just a string box and a money box, actually.

You know what a banker is, don't you?

VO: Leaving almost £300 to spare.

While Catherine didn't spend an awful lot more for her planters and grape picker's basket stand.

CS: I found this.

DEALER: Right... VO: Which means she still has over 160 at her disposal.

Now, how's our mechanic getting on?

Watch this.

You've just lost a wee plastic bolt, that's all.

What's the problem?

PL: That's the... CS: Oh!

You've got an anchor, a plastic anchor instead of a numberplate.

I have done worse than that before on my car at home.

VO: Hmm.

Later, hedgerow repairs completed, they'll be off to auction in the Staffordshire town of Penkridge.

But the next stop is in Shropshire at Bridgenorth - the beautiful Severnside birthplace of legendary film critic Dilys Powell, where Catherine's ready for her close up, having already dropped off co-star Paul.

Bridgenorth, here I come.

VO: At the Bridgenorth Antiques Centre.

Hi.

Catherine.

And you are?

How are you?

Nigel.

Nigel, good to meet you.

Jane.

Hello, Jane.

Lovely place, this is nice.

Thank you.

I'm glad my brakes work, cos I nearly came head first straight through the shop, smashing everything in sight.

VO: Best not to dwell on that thought.

Nice-looking things in here.

VO: So, what's likely to go down a storm in Penkridge?

We all like a bit of sauce now and again and I've probably found the sauciest thing in the shop.

We have a pair of legs, we have a stocking corkscrew there.

Late 19th century, probably 1890s, 1895.

These were very popular.

But this one is like the cancan girls, German though.

Stripy stockings.

I love the boots.

VO: Very kinky.

Isn't it pricy, though?

They're wanting £330 but what a great piece of sauce.

VO: Yes, but let's move on cos Catherine has just under half that amount to spend.

(SHE GROANS) VO: Oh dear!

What can Nigel recommend?

Something glassy, perhaps?

CS: So it's decorated on each.

NIGEL: Yes, yes.

What is she doing?

She's kneeling down and she's holding... NIGEL: Mirror?

CS: It's molded glass, isn't it?

It is, yes, yeah.

What does the ticket say?

There's no ticket on it.

There's no ticket?

No.

VO: Ah.

Nigel's asking for £25.

Does she speak to me?

Oof.

Not sure she does.

No?

I don't think she's worth £25.

Yeah.

Is that the kind of bottom line on it?

£20.

CS: It doesn't seem an unreasonable price.

VO: Not convinced.

I've got to buy something I believe in and it may well make a profit.

But I don't like it.

VO: Principles, eh?

And if you don't like them?

Am I a difficult woman to please?

I find all women difficult to please.

Do you?

You're like motor cars, complicated.

Oh, I certainly am.

What's that at the back there, that bronze... CS: Is it bronze?

NIGEL: It is bronze, yes.

Is it a stork?

Is it a stork?

NIGEL: I think so.

On a tortoise.

It's quite interesting.

It's Japanese, isn't it?

No markings underneath.

It's got to be Meiji period, hasn't it?

Late...

I'd say it's got to be about 1900s.

It's got lovely patination on it.

It's worn well.

It feels nice.

Yeah.

110.

I would need to go down quite a bit to consider this.

NIGEL: £90.

CS: Can we do 80?

OK. £80.

CS: You think?

NIGEL: Deal done.

CS: You think it's a good thing?

NIGEL: Yeah.

VO: Not every day you buy a stork on a tortoise.

Ha-ha!

Here you go, £80.

£80!

VO: Bold move, Catherine!

Would you like that wrapping?

No, thank you.

I'm going to take it and talk to it in the car.

VO: I'm sure they've got a lot of catching up to do.

VO: Now, over to her chum, taking time off from the chase... ..in this Shropshire village of Jackfield... ..where Paul's come to discover the fascinating history of the Victorian tile craze from museum curator Georgina Grant.

We've got a lot of reconstruction of tiles that would have been made in this area.

VO: The museum, in the former factory of one of Jackfield's major manufacturers, reveals how, during the 19th century, Britain became obsessed with these colorful fellows.

So, why do you think tiles take off under Victoria's reign?

GEORGINA (GG): Well, it's mainly because people have more disposable income, they want to decorate their homes.

Also you've got mass production now on a scale never before seen so you can produce all these tiles that people can now afford to buy.

VO: Jackfield, close to Ironbridge on the River Severn, and with an abundance of local clay plus coal to fire the kilns, became the center of UK tile manufacture, turning out millions of them for just about every possible use.

In the home today, I might walk into a Victorian residence and see a tiled fire surround.

And if I'm lucky I'll walk into a heritage pub with a tiled background.

Where else were they used?

GG: The Victorians were very concerned with sanitation so they put tiles anywhere that you needed to clean easily - butchers', hospitals - and it just raised hygiene standards so much.

They were particularly used to keep children happy who would be in hospital.

You know, to ease their suffering.

And the tiles would portray nursery scenes and rhymes, stories.

So they were very bright and colorful as well, of course, being very easy to clean.

VO: But it wasn't just big factories that were making these tiles.

Because William Morris and others associated with the arts-and-crafts movement, like potter William De Morgan, created their own handmade and highly collectable pieces.

GG: You see them across all sections of society.

You could buy your cheap tiles for your home or you could get the ones that were designed by some of the leading Victorian designers.

VO: In a bid to recreate a bit of the tile artistry of De Morgan and his ilk, our Paul's about to express himself in the company of instructor Lucy Walker.

OK, have low expectations, Lucy, OK?

LUCY (LW): Simple is best.

No, I'm too ambitious for that.

You recognize that, don't you?

LW: That's got to be you.

PL: It's clearly me.

Any fool can see that.

And of course that's clearly Catherine Southon and, this won't make any sense to you, but this thing here, it's a numberplate and it's hanging off at a jaunty angle.

Right.

Frankly, that could be a De Morgan original, as far as I'm concerned.

Right, now... VO: Time for what's known as tube lining.

You actually get a better line when you speed up.

Really?

Oh, my word.

Well, in that case I'd really drop a gear here.

You fairly have to squeeze this bulb, don't you?

You do.

And that's not gonna survive.

PL: Oh!

Just about!

LW: Nearly.

Just.

LW: Well done.

PL: Ta-da!

VO: Now for the colors.

Dab, dab, dab, dab.

And this, once fired, becomes the vivid Christmas red.

Yes.

You know what I've just done?

I've painted myself out of our little tableau here.

All of the brown lines will show through.

Really, they just float to the surface?

VO: Oh, they do.

And while his little masterpiece is fired for later, let's catch up with Catherine.

Quite literally.

Gosh, this is beautiful.

What a day to go antique hunting.

VO: She's en route to her last outlet.

So I've got to hope and pray that this shop has got a couple of gems.

VO: Maneuvering Mog towards Pattingham in Staffordshire.

Don't ask.

Straight in the bath.

VO: With just over £80 to spend.

Let's get going.

VO: Oh, do let's!

This is interesting.

Hello.

Hello, how are you?

What a super place!

Catherine.

Thank you.

I'm Olly.

CS: Good to meet you.

VO: Plenty to choose from.

Some of it at bargain prices.

Is this a ratch-it area?

25% off all marked prices?

Is that what Paul would call rachet... Ratching?

I can't even remember what he said now.

Ratcheting.

Paul would probably find something.

I can't see anything there.

VO: Oh well.

Now, speaking of the ratcher in chief, Paul's just landed near the Staffordshire village of Bobbington, with plenty of cash left to spend in his last shop.

Right then.

VO: Almost £300 actually.

Not that one in a hurry.

Er, OK. VO: And this former RAF airfield building contains a lot to AIM at.

Ha-ha!

Wooden frame, and inside the frame, glass.

Polaroid filters.

There's a clue in that term.

Kodak haze screen for aerial observation.

Second World War.

Luftwaffe Blitz raids.

The Observer Corps, their responsibility were to night and day listen and look out for enemy aircraft and report the sighting of such as soon as possible to various headquarters so that the RAF could be scrambled.

Now, pretty difficult to spot aircraft flying out of the sun.

And that's where this tool comes into play.

So you hold this up to your eyes and all of a sudden the glare's gone.

And you can see little specks in formation heading our way and you need to report that to HQ PDQ.

What an unusual, thought-provoking instrument.

VO: Priced at a mere £8.

I think I spotted a little belter.

VO: Well, Paul might have started slowly on this leg.

But he's on a roll now.

Quite a common uniform.

Four-pocket tunic of an RAF officer.

This one is rare for one reason and one reason only.

That label there.

99 out of 100 tunics that you will find will have a private tailor's label.

Not a government contract label.

I really like that.

Our man was a fight lieutenant but what's it worth?

50 to 70 at auction is about right.

It's priced at £95.

Let's have a look at the trousers.

Ah!

Da da da da da da da.

Wrong trousers.

VO: Gromit!

Where's Wallace?

Ha-ha!

These are postwar.

And entirely unrelated.

I wonder if I could get a discount on that.

VO: Let's take a breather from Paul's big push, and see how things are shaping up in Pattingham.

So I'm guessing this is one of those illuminated signs.

OLLY: It is, yeah.

CS: The lamp that comes out outside... Yeah, it's a lightbox.

I'm guessing it's outside... Well, obviously a gaming centre.

I like that with the "chu-kung".

You'd pull down.

OLLY: It makes you want to... Shame the ball's come off the top.

Yeah.

There's also a cherry missing on the other side as well, I think.

There's a cherry missing!

Who would want that, though?

Bit of plastic.

What would you do with that?

You'd hang it on your wall, wouldn't you, and... CS: Would you?

OLLY: You know, yeah.

CS: Would you?

OLLY: Yeah.

You've got to have a pretty big room as well, to have something like that.

I love it but it is, it's... Yeah.

No.

I couldn't VO: Maybe play it a wee bit safer?

This is World War Two... isn't it?

I believe so.

I like you, Olly.

(OLLY CHUCKLES SOFTLY) CS: You're an honest man.

OLLY: There you go.

VO: Some trench art made from the safety caps of artillery fuses.

I think they're rather charming, aren't they?

Yeah, they are, they're lovely.

Never seen anything quite like them.

No.

You see a fair bit of trench art, but they're definitely different.

Mind you, I bought trench art early on in this road trip and it didn't fare me well.

But never mind.

Your luck needs to change then.

VO: Certainly does.

Had high hopes for that dinner gong too.

AUCTIONEER: Fair warning.

AUCTIONEER: Selling at £55.

CS: Come on.

Right, what've you got?

OLLY: 26 on the pair.

26.

What is the very best you can do on those?

I can find out for you.

Can you?

They're not yours?

No, no.

I'll go and give him a phone call.

CS: Lovely.

Thank you.

OLLY: Alright.

VO: Sounds promising.

Over to Paul.

Any more militaria?

A grubby little cotton pouch.

This could have been incredibly important if you were an RAF air crewman downed in a survival dinghy.

VO: Crikey, it is too!

You're sitting there and you hear... Mmmmmm.

Aircraft.

How do you attract their attention?

This is where this wee pouch could save your life.

Because it contains a heliograph.

Now, you stick the foresight about six inches in front of your eye and then the mirror here.

And if you align this towards the aircraft with the light shining on the back of this little lollipop here, then that is going to cast a flashing light at your observers who are hopefully in the aircraft with binoculars.

"Captain, captain, 12 o'clock.

I see a flashing light."

Saved.

What do you think of that?

Grubby little pouch, lifesaving heliograph.

How much is that gonna cost you?

£18.

Could this be a lifesaver in the auction?

He-he!

VO: He-he-he!

Very droll.

Also, coincidentally, the price that Catherine has bagged the trench art for.

Got her eye on some silver too.

So this is cedarwood, lined.

But it is smoking ephemera and not always the best thing to buy.

75, I mean, really to get anywhere that needs to be 30.

And then a little vesta.

The two at 35.

Oh, this is tough.

Olly.

Yeah?

You've got a silver cigarette box there at 75 CS: and a vesta there at 18.

OLLY: Okey-doke.

They're not yours, I take it?

No, no, no.

No.

I would like to put the two together.

OLLY: OK. CS: And I'd like to offer you, ideally, sort of 30-ish.

CS: Five.

OLLY: Okey-doke.

VO: Well, it's cheeky alright.

But it looks like Olly's not having much luck passing it on.

I can't get through to him.

CS: Oh, OK. OLLY: However, I'm willing to make an executive decision... CS: Oh, Olly!

Oh, go on then.

OLLY: ..if that interests you.

The lowest I'll do those for is £40.

Deal?

CS: Put it there, Olly.

OLLY: Brilliant.

VO: Yes, that was kind.

Time to settle up.

So, what do I owe you?

A grand total of £58, please.

CS: 60.

There we are.

OLLY: Brilliant.

Thank you very much, I'll just grab your change.

VO: So with Catherine's collection complete, that just leaves Paul's pile back in Bobbington.

I like this.

That is a little truncated conical fob case, fob meaning pendant.

I suspect this was suspended from a gentleman's watch chain.

Now, it's marked, it bears a design registration lozenge.

It's got a little hinged lid.

Open her up.

And therein... Oh, deary me, it's in two pieces.

So what we have is a rather ingenious... ..cigarette or cheroot holder.

And certainly the most compact example of such I have ever seen.

And it's the compact, collapsible nature of the beast that was the ingenuity that the designer wished to protect.

This is silver and it was assayed at Birmingham in 1901, so it's Edwardian.

The mouthpiece is actually natural amber.

Amber was considered to have cooling properties.

VO: Catherine's just bought some smoking stuff too, of course.

Is it expensive?

£20.

I think that is a perfectly respectable price.

VO: Alright then, gird your loins.

Now this is what I call a haul.

But it remains to be seen whether I'm buying all of it or none of it.

But I think we all know I'm buying some of it.

VO: Oh yes.

Over to Claire.

Well, I've brought a lot to show you.

CLAIRE: Brilliant.

We've got heliograph.

Instrument, price.

Cheroot holder and price.

May I sit down?

Of course, yeah.

Alright then.

Look, the tunic comes with a pair of trousers.

They're later, I'm not interested in the trousers under any circumstances.

The other items, they're perfectly reasonably priced.

Why would I argue with fair prices?

This tunic on the other hand, I need to do some serious work on that price.

Right.

I'm gonna have to ring the dealer but that's fine, yeah.

PL: Great stuff!

CLAIRE: OK.

Right.

Let's see what he says.

Hello.

Right, we've got the officer's jacket and trousers.

At 95.

He really only wants the jacket and he just wants to know your death really.

What was that?

55 or 65?

65.

Tell him I want the other one.

He wants the other one - he wants 55, Wayne.

55, he keeps the trousers.

He says fair enough.

Cheers, bye-bye.

VO: He's bought the lot!

£101, that.

VO: Apart from those controversial trousers.

I will take my RAF stuff and fly off.

VO: Now, back together and back on the road.

CS: Off to Staffordshire.

PL: The Potteries.

Here's hoping there's a pot of gold at the end of our auction.

I like it!

VO: They could definitely do with a lie down.

Shuteye time.

It's market day.

A stone's throw from the River Penk.

VO: After setting out in Wales at Wrexham, Catherine and Paul have traveled back east towards Staffordshire and Penkridge.

We'll abandon the auction thing, I've taken a stall.

Come and get it.

Come and get your... Come and get your antiques!

No, not £20, not £15, madam!

CS: We might have more chance with that.

VO: Welcome to Cuttlestones.

With internet bidding.

Paul parted with £139 for his five auction lots.

CS: It's actually quite a smart buy.

Tin plate and brass.

And I think the detail is rather charming.

But it's not the highest quality, which I think reflects in the price that was paid, it was £18.

Has it got a profit?

Of course it has.

Is my name Catherine?

VO: Ha-ha.

She spent £198 on her five lots.

What I'm trying to do is maintain some decorum, because on the inside I'm going, er, "Yes!

Yes!

Yes!"

£80.

That is the ugliest stork on God's earth!

VO: So rude!

He-he-he!

What does auctioneer Ben Gamble make of it all?

BEN (BG): The grape basket stand.

Quirky.

Will it make a lot of money?

I'm not so sure.

The string holder, I love this.

It's very tactile.

I've got some good treen buyers.

I like these little trench art tankards.

We tend to get the bigger ones that sell OK but the fact these are a little bit smaller, a bit more unusual.

I think they'll do really well.

VO: Exciting stuff.

Let's get on with it!

Oh, is it going?

It's going.

CS: Can you not control that?

PL: I can't.

That wasn't deliberate, was it?

No, no, no, I wasn't acting.

Alright, I'll control it now.

Then it'll creep back.

All of a sudden it's just gonna come back in.

VO: Now, what's the betting it's the first time they've sold a grape picker's basket stand here, Catherine?

£15 on commission.

At 15 bid, 18 in the room.

And I am out at £18.

Oh!

20.

Two on the net.

At 22, five.

BG: At 25.

CS: Internet.

Come on, internet!

Net's out.

At £25.

(GAVEL) Yours, sir.

VO: Is she crushed?

Hell she is.

Wiped its face.

VO: Paul's RAF tunic sans culottes.

Internet interest at £18.

Oh!

BOTH: I thought he was gonna say 80!

BG: At £18 bid.

20.

Two.

Five.

Eight.

30.

32.

35.

38.

40.

Going up, isn't it?

At £40 bid.

Five quickly, and we will sell.

At 40, all done?

Going there, at £40.

(GAVEL) VO: That's Paul's first setback for quite some time.

Do you think this is how the rest of it's going to go?

Don't do that.

Don't say, Catherine!

VO: Her stork and tortoise is next.

It's the ugliest goddamn bird you've ever... SQUEAKS: ..seen in your life!

You're cruel.

I liked it.

At 45, bid 50.

Five.

60.

Five.

70.

Five.

BG: At 75 on the net.

CS: Oh, keep going.

I think that's plenty.

Bid 80.

Fresh money.

BG: At £80.

CS: Come on.

BG: Five.

CS: Yes!

BG: 90.

CS: Yes.

PL: What?!

CS: Yes!

BG: Five.

CS: Yes!

Oh God, I love you.

On the net.

Selling now at £95.

(GAVEL) CS: Yes!

VO: Go Catherine!

Never has such a modest profit been so warmly received.

What?!

VO: Paul's militaria two-step, the haze screen and the heliograph.

BG: £18 on the net.

PL: Oh, thought it was 80 again.

At £18.

20.

At £20.

Two in the room.

Thank you sir.

At 22.

And five.

28.

You're out online, it's in the room.

30.

At £30.

I'm not sure.

Is that a nod or a shake?

We're selling.

All done at £30.

I'm absolutely fine with that.

Stop slapping your knee.

You have not stopped.

VO: Can a man not slap his own his knee in public?

(SHE HUMS) # Slappy.

# We could be one of those... What do they do?

Happy slappy... VO: Catherine's planters are next.

You probably hate these, don't you?

Yes.

At £18 I'm bid for the pair of planters there.

At £18.

Who says 20?

22.

Five on the net.

A burst of activity.

At £28.

30.

32.

In the room at 32.

At 35.

Come on, have a bit more.

I'd love... just give me 40.

At 30... eight in the room.

At £38.

Are we 40 or not?

Come on.

All done in the room there at £38?

Ah.

VO: Never mind, there's a few more to go.

It's a notional profit.

VO: Paul's string box now.

Looking very shiny.

We'll start the bidding at £35.

38.

40.

BG: At 40 bid.

PL: That's it.

BG: Five.

PL: Oh, no.

50.

55.

Anybody like 60 quickly?

60.

Fresh money?

At £60.

At £60, bid's on my left.

And I sell and no mistake.

All done at £60?

(GAVEL) That's good, Paul.

PL: Fair enough.

Not bad.

CS: Very, very good.

VO: Yep, much more Paul.

I'm just glad it didn't go to 80.

VO: Catherine's smoking things now.

Internet starting me in at £28.

Oh, come on.

There's more than that in it.

It's a silver box, for goodness sake.

35.

38.

Keep going.

40.

Five on the net.

At 45 and he's out away.

Internet better.

Any more?

Selling there at £45.

VO: Another teeny profit for Catherine.

That was a good buy for someone else.

Yes, not me, sadly.

VO: Paul's ingenious cheroot holder.

Bids are in at £15.

At £15.

Leave it there, 15.

Oh, please put the hammer down.

20 with me.

Are you two online?

At £20.

No casualty.

Two on the net.

Five now.

CS: Oh!

PL: Ah!

I'm out.

It's on the net at 25.

Any more?

At 25 we sell.

All done at 25?

(GAVEL) VO: Now Paul's back to slim pickings.

PL: No grumbles.

CS: No.

VO: Catherine's last lot, her trench art tankards.

We have bids that will start us at £12 only.

15 on the net.

At £15 I'm bid.

Bid 18 in the room.

At 18.

I've got the 20.

22.

CS: Come on.

BG: 25.

I've got 28 left side.

30, sir?

30.

32.

35.

38.

40.

Five.

At 45?

No, he says.

Standing bid.

We're selling there at £45.

(GAVEL) Yeah, how do you like them apples?

PL: "I hate them."

CS: Pardon?

How do you like them apples?

CS: Them apples?

PL: Yes.

Why are we talking about apples?

I know we're at the market, but why are we talking about apples?

It's the expression.

"How do you like them apples?"

VO: I think she likes them, Paul.

Not sure she gets your phrase though.

Google it.

It's got to be a Carlisle thing.

No!

Ratching is Carlisle.

"How do you like them apples?"

is universally street.

VO: Finally, Paul's money-box bank.

I've actually got three commission bids.

CS: Well done.

BG: But don't get too excited, cos it starts me at £15.

Doesn't matter.

CS: Can only go up.

BG: 18, 20.

Two.

Five.

Eight.

I'm out in the room at 28.

30.

Thank you.

32.

35, I'll come to you all.

Yeah.

It's healthy now, yeah.

40.

And five.

50.

And five.

60.

And five.

Doing alright.

70.

And five.

80.

And five.

PL: In the room as well.

BG: 90.

And five.

100.

110.

120.

130.

CS: I am flabbergasted.

PL: I didn't see that coming.

Don't stop now, sir.

At 140, are you sure?

At 140 and I sell, all done at 140.

(GAVEL) Get in!

PL: Get in.

CS: That was brilliant.

Well done, well done.

Hey!

VO: What a great result, eh?

Follow that!

Ta-da!

That's beautiful!

Check out the numberplate.

Hanging off.

Mog!

That's us!

It's brilliant.

Right, come on.

Use it as a coaster.

We'll get a mug on that in a minute.

I want a brew.

Oh!

I love that.

Brilliant!

VO: Paul's tile stole the show and his pile of cash is coming along nicely too.

Catherine started out with £223.92.

And after auction costs she made a small but very welcome profit, so she now has £229.28 to her name.

While Paul, who began with an awful lot more, made after costs over £100.

So he's now even further out in front, with £439.62.

Time for some fruit and veg.

CS: Tell you what, I'm going back to selling cauliflowers.

I think I do that better than buying antiques.

VO: Next on Antiques Road Trip, with temperatures rising... You know what they say about steamy cars, don't you?

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: A-ha-ha!

..Catherine attempts to stay cool... CS: Feeling this?

Groovy.

DEALER: Yeah, yeah.

VO: While Paul wets his whistle.

To the king and his good health!

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